Hi dear Reader

For years, I had a pattern in relationships that I couldn’t quite name.

Whenever things got too close, too real, too good, I’d find reasons to leave.
I’d make them the villain, focus on their flaws, and create distance.
I’d leave before they could leave me.

Sounds familiar?

I was terrified of abandonment. So frightened that I’d abandon the relationship first.

Last week, we talked about anxiety, that voice that says, “I’m not sure I can handle what’s coming.”

Today, let’s talk about fear.

Fear often says:
“Don’t do it. They’ll judge you.”
“Don’t try. You’ll be abandoned, hurt, mocked...”
“It doesn’t even matter if you do this; it won’t be good enough anyway.”

Fear creates imagined scenarios that feel so real, so certain, that they stop you from being yourself and being seen in all your capacity.

During my first coaching training, I learned that FEAR is actually False Expectations Appearing Real.
While anxiety doubts your ability to handle something, fear convinces you that terrible things will happen if you try.

And so, you hide.
You play small.
You don’t speak up.
You don’t pursue the dream.
You stay in relationships that don’t fit or leave ones that do.
You present a carefully edited version of yourself instead of the real you.

One of my clients came to me exhausted and said, “I’m tired of feeding my fear.”

Here’s what they meant:
They’d have a thought: “Someone else deserves this more than me.”
​Then another: “I’m not as good as people say.”
​And another: “Nothing I do is revolutionary or impactful.”

Each thought fed the fear. The fear grew. The emotional overwhelm became unbearable.
To soothe that overwhelm, they turned to alcohol, drugs, sex, and other quick fixes that provided temporary relief.

No matter what they achieved, praise, awards, recognition, nothing felt good enough.

The fear of “not being good enough” had become their closest and constant life companion.

From Fear to Freedom

Through just 5 hours of coaching together, we:
- Identified the specific thoughts that were feeding their fear
- Learned the “Stop, Cancel, Delete” method to interrupt the fear cycle
- Practiced sitting with fear instead of immediately soothing it with an unhealthy, self-destructive behaviour
- Increased their self-awareness so they could catch their thinking pattern of feeding the fear earlier
- Developed healthier ways to process emotions instead of numbing or running away from them

The transformation?

They went from “I am never satisfied or proud of what I have achieved” to “I’ll keep doing/pursuing what I want regardless of this fear of not being good enough.”

In my work as a coach, I see three fears show up again and again:

1. Fear of Not Being Good Enough

No matter what you achieve, it never feels like enough.
You dismiss compliments, downplay success, and carry a persistent sense that you’re falling short.

This fear keeps you from celebrating yourself, taking credit, or believing you deserve what you have.

Read: Own Your Worth and Stop Feeling Not Good Enough

2. Fear of Abandonment

You either cling too tightly or leave before you can be left.
You read into every text, every tone, every silence.
You’re convinced that if people truly knew you, they’d walk away.

This fear keeps you from authentic connection and makes you abandon yourself to keep others close.

Read: Fear of Abandonment - The Wound Causing So Many Struggles

3. Fear of Judgment

This is the most common fear stopping people from living authentically.
You don’t speak up in meetings.
You don’t share your work.
You don’t pursue your dreams because you’re terrified of what others will think.

This fear keeps you invisible, playing small, and hiding your true self from the world.

Read: Fear of Judgment - Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Here’s what I’ve learned through my journey and working with clients:

Fear doesn’t go away completely.
But it does get smaller when you stop feeding it.

When you:
- Recognize the thoughts that fuel your fear
- Question the imagined scenarios instead of accepting them as truth
- Sit with the discomfort instead of immediately soothing it
- Take action despite the fear (not without it) - start being courageous

By overcoming your fears, you stop hiding yourself and start living as your authentic self.

Next Week: Overwhelm

This is week 2 of our 8-week journey through the most common emotions we experience:

1. ✅ Anxiety – Doubting your abilities
2. Fear (this week) – False Expectations Appearing Real
3. Overwhelm – When everything feels like too much
4. Shame/Not Good Enough – The wound that keeps you small
5. Anger/Resentment – The boundary violations you’ve been ignoring
6. Sadness/Grief – The emotions you’ve been pushing down
7. Loneliness/Disconnection – Why you feel alone even with others
8. Confusion/Uncertainty/Stuckness – When you’ve lost connection to yourself

As a trained emotions coach, I work with clients to:

• Identify the specific fears keeping you stuck
• Recognize when you’re feeding fear with thoughts
• Learn tools to interrupt the fear cycle (reframe the thoughts)
• Practice sitting with fear instead of soothing it away
• Take action aligned with your values/goals/dreams, despite the fear - by cultivating self-trust and courage

Let's meet and explore how you can stop hiding and start living fully.

With love and courage,
Kora

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P.S. Fear thrives in isolation.
If you know someone who’s been playing small, hiding their light, or running from their potential because of fear, share this email with them. Sometimes knowing we’re not alone is the first step toward freedom.